I'm addicted to it. It's how I feel alive. It's the only thing that's real any more.
And now I have to sit around and discuss it like it's physics or calculus. I can't do it. I can't pretend that it's some sterile academic topic. Violence isn't sterile. It isn't calm. It's pulsing. It's alive.
It's my drug.
Until I met Abby, I never wanted anything beyond the next fight. Never considered that I might finally find a way back to the land of the living.
Now? Now I find myself dreaming of a woman with golden eyes.
But I can never be with her. Because I am not whole. And I never will be again.
But I cannot stay away.
And loving her might finally be what breaks me.
This book deals with very deep issues, PTSD,ABUSE, VIOLENCE, DRINKING,DEPRESSION and GUILT. The author has researched well the affects of PTSD in the military returning home from war, trying to cope with all they have seen and had to do while serving in combat zones. Side affects of this can vary from person to person, and how they deal with it . The degrees of distress from the side affects of abuse of both the physical and mental variety leave their own forms of PTSD. the two main characters are both dealing with their own forms of this and the varying side affects that result from it.
Both are studying a subject that brings it very close to home and often acting as a trigger, making it hard to concentrate and stay focussed. The story is based around them meeting, recognising and helping each other learn to find ways to deal and cope both together and alone. It is a dark read at times lots of thinking on by both characters, but it is a great story opening up into something very special. It is worth reading at times when you have quiet and no distractions as at times it does need concentration, especially in the early chapters. But it is so worth reading giving insight and understanding for people that suffer through this on a daily basis, its well thought out and handled in a sensitive and compassionate way. I am definitely glad I read it